Jessica-Marie and Martin 'Beejay' Wells

Jessica-Marie and Martin 'Beejay' Wells
be together, play together, learn together

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Bloody smart smart arse kids

As I do on virtually every Wednesday evening I had a phone call from the ten year old Muppet tonight. I haven't seen much of Jessica-Marie in the last few weeks, what with hospitals and operations and stuff getting in the way of trying to function normally. That's normally in inverted commas, most of those who know me would say. Anyway, the conversation went something like this.

Hello Sweety, how are you?
Good, how are you?
Wow, you actually remembered to enquire about my health. That's a first.
Yeah, well.
Only pulling your leg, Sweety. How was was drama class this afternoon?
Didn't go.
Oh, and why not?
Teacher was sick.
Oh, shame. What about school this week? How's that going?
You can talk in full sentences if you like. I won't mind.
What did you have for lunch today?
Don't remember.
Gordon Bennet, Jessica-Marie. You get 100% in all your exams, well, except art and religious studies, and you can't remember what you had for lunch. Never mind. You know what's special about next Thursday?
No. It comes before a Friday, like tomorrow does.
Yeah right, you little smart arse.
I know.
What? You know you're a smart arse?
No, I know it's your birthday.
Well done. Anyway I started on Twitter today. You know what that is?
( I know. I left myself wide open)
Of course I do, Daddy. Doesn't everybody?
Yeah, well it took me a while to get get it sorted.
That's because you know nothing.
( I should've quit right there)
Oi, you little Muppet, have a bit of respect for your old man.
( There's where I walked right into it)
Operative word being old, eh, Daddy?
Thank you very much. The nurses at the hospital said I didn't look nearly sixty-two.
( I should've known better)
What did they think you were? A hundred and two?
You are so in bother when I see you next.
No problem. Got to go now and eat, Daddy.
Okay, talk to you at the weekend.
Okay, Daddy.
Bye, Sweety. Love you, miss you.
Love you, miss you too, Daddy. Bye.

Ten years old and a bloody answer for everything and English isn't her first language. Still, it shows where her sense of humour comes from. Proud of her. She'll grow up breaking hearts and bank accounts. As long as it ain't my bank account, that's dodgy enough as it is.

No comments:

Post a Comment